Deeper Than Money (Chloe Elise)


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These are takeaways from this book.


Firstly, Money shame and the stories that keep you stuck, A central theme is that money shame is not just a feeling but a pattern that shapes behavior. The book explores how shame can show up as secrecy, avoidance, impulsive spending, under earning, or refusal to look at numbers. Instead of framing these reactions as moral failure, it treats them as learned coping strategies that once served a purpose. Readers are guided to identify the narratives behind their habits, such as I am bad with money, people like me do not get ahead, or wanting more is selfish. By naming the story, you gain room to challenge it. The approach also highlights how family dynamics, cultural expectations, and past financial mistakes can turn money into a trigger. The goal is to separate identity from outcomes, so a bad month does not become proof of personal inadequacy. This topic sets the foundation for change by making it safer to engage with finances. When shame decreases, curiosity increases, and curiosity is what allows people to review spending, negotiate pay, and plan without self sabotage.


Secondly, Self trust as the real engine of financial consistency, The book emphasizes that confidence with money is built through repeated, reliable actions, not through willpower spikes. It argues that many people know what to do but do not believe they will follow through, which leads to overcomplicated plans, constant restarting, or outsourcing decisions to gurus. Building self trust means setting realistic commitments and keeping them, even when motivation drops. This can include small routines like weekly money check ins, automating bills, or choosing a simple saving target. Over time, consistency rewires the relationship with money from fear to capability. The book also treats emotional regulation as part of personal finance, because dysregulation can drive panic decisions like selling investments too early or swinging between restriction and splurging. By creating systems that are gentle but firm, readers can reduce decision fatigue and stop relying on mood to steer spending. This topic reframes financial growth as a practice, similar to health or skill building, where progress comes from sustainable rhythms and repair after setbacks.


Thirdly, Values based spending and boundaries that protect your life, Instead of prescribing one perfect budget, the book leans toward aligning spending with personal values. The idea is to decide what matters most, then spend boldly there while cutting what does not support the life you want. This reduces resentment and the cycle of deprivation followed by rebellion. Values based planning also helps with common pressure points such as social spending, family requests, and lifestyle comparison. The book encourages readers to define boundaries in advance, including how to respond to invitations, lending requests, or shared expenses. Boundaries are presented as a form of self respect, not selfishness. Practical implications include creating categories that reflect priorities, setting spending guidelines that match income reality, and building a buffer for irregular costs so the plan does not collapse when life happens. This topic is especially useful for readers who have tried strict budgets and felt like they failed, because it treats budgeting as a tool for freedom and intention rather than a punishment for not being disciplined enough.


Fourthly, Building wealth with simple systems, not financial perfectionism, Another key focus is reducing the overwhelm that keeps people from investing, saving, or paying down debt. The book promotes simplicity and automation as antidotes to perfectionism. Rather than waiting to understand everything before acting, readers are encouraged to choose a basic plan they can implement and refine later. This might involve prioritizing emergency savings, tackling high interest debt, and using straightforward investing approaches that suit long term goals. The messaging pushes back on the idea that you must optimize every decision to build wealth. Small consistent contributions, made over time, can matter more than constant tweaking. The book also acknowledges that wealth building is affected by structural realities like income level, access, and caregiving responsibilities, so it aims to be practical rather than preachy. The emphasis is on designing systems that run in the background, such as automatic transfers and bill pay, freeing mental energy for living. This topic helps readers move from reactive money management to proactive planning with fewer moving parts.


Lastly, Identity, relationships, and the confidence to ask for more, Money is rarely a solo issue, and the book highlights how relationships shape financial choices. It discusses how communication patterns, people pleasing, and fear of conflict can lead to overspending, undercharging, or avoiding necessary conversations about shared expenses. A related emphasis is identity based growth, where a reader practices becoming the kind of person who negotiates, sets prices, talks about money, and makes long range plans. Confidence is framed as a skill built through repetition, not a personality trait you either have or lack. This topic connects inner work to external outcomes, such as advocating for a raise, setting boundaries with friends or family, or making aligned career moves. It also addresses the tension between wanting security and wanting freedom, encouraging readers to articulate what wealth means to them personally. By integrating mindset, communication, and strategy, the book positions financial empowerment as something that improves relationships and self respect, not just net worth.